


What Could Go Wrong?

by kayladb, TheSlayer47



Series: PARTY! [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Silly, Surprise Party
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:08:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29278239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayladb/pseuds/kayladb, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSlayer47/pseuds/TheSlayer47
Summary: At Garreg Mach University, the upperclassmen residing in Serios Hall decide to throw a surprise party for their highly anxious friend, Bernadetta. To the amusement of Byleth, the Resident Advisor, she watches as chaos ensues during the execution of what they hoped would be the 'perfect' surprise party.
Relationships: Ashe Ubert/Dedue Molinaro/Mercedes von Martritz, Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Marianne von Edmund/Lorenz Hellman Gloucester/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Raphael Kirsten/Leonie Pinelli
Series: PARTY! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150136
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. I Don't Get Paid Enough

“Claude, _for Goddess’s sakes!_ ” 

“Put. The. Bow. Down.”

“Aww, c’mon El! Mitya! _I’m cupid!”_ He exclaimed as he enthusiastically shot another arrow into the wall. “These walls are old pieces of shit anyway- _HEY BYLETH!_ ” Claude said with a playful smirk, not even attempting to hide what he’s doing.

 _I don’t get paid enough for this shit._ Byleth thought as she stepped through the doors into the top floor common area. She could almost _(...almost)_ not believe what she was seeing. 

From only Goddess knows where, Claude found a _real_ bow, and even had a quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder. Judging by the new, large **X** drawn in sharpie on the wall, and the three arrows wedged in the arms of the marking, he decided this was the best place to test his skills. Which are actually pretty good… _huh._

“Alright, everyone. Sorry, I’m late. Let’s begin,” Byleth intoned as she pulled out one of the rickety, wood chairs. 

Byleth had gotten used to the slightly unpalatable furniture. The chairs with it’s stained, grey upholstered cushions. The lopsided, scratched-up table with burn spots she sort-of wishes she knew the stories for. The mold-smell probably comes from the grey curtains, which haven’t been cleaned or replaced in Serios knows how long. 

Garreg Mach University is an old, prestigious campus. Yet, they can’t spend _a little_ money updating the residence halls? With it’s chipped, eggshell paint; hundreds of miniscule holes from years of tacking posters to the walls. And now, courtesy of Claude, a large X. 

_They could at least get a damn heater_ , Byleth thought as she drew her fluffy winter coat closer to her body. She can nearly see her breath in here!

Last year she was the RA for the Golden Deer floor, and she didn’t give a shit. How she even got this job is beyond her. Well, except Jeritza, the Senior RA last year, seemed to appreciate her laissez-faire approach to issues. Her hall had the least amount of drama when compared to the Black Eagles or Blue Lions floors. 

“By, you’re not going to say anything about…” El anxiously asked, pointing to the arrows in the wall as she sat down next to the Senior RA.

“No, these walls _are_ shit,” Byleth said. “It’s Ethereal Moon, what event ideas do you have for the month?”

“First!” Claude shouted as he pushed one of the softer lounge chairs toward the table. “We still don’t have a MySpace! We really need to make one-”

 _“Claude,”_ El said impatiently, pulling a pink notebook from her crocheted purse-bag. “At our last meeting, you said _you_ would make us a page!”

 _“Ooooooh yeeeeaaaah_ , I forgot! Aaaaand I will definitely do that!”

El groaned, “Uhg, how about you just let-” 

“You do it?! _GREAT IDEA!_ Now, my second idea is we have a tie-dye party.”

“It’s winter, Claude,” Dimitri stated amusingly. “Who’s going to want to put their arms in buckets of water in the freezing cold?” 

“We can do it inside!” Claude exclaimed.

Byleth let out a snort, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, cause that won't be a disaster.”

Shuffling the papers on the table in front of her, El let out a deep sigh, closing her eyes. “We don’t need to make this place worse. What if Seteth decides to fine the residents for making this place _significantly_ worse?”

“ _Geez, alright!_ I was trying to bring some cheer and color to this sad winter.” Claude pouted, winking in Dimitri’s direction, _clearly_ not upset at all about his idea being rejected. 

Turning towards the two women, Dimitri chuckled, “well, if we want some color-“

Claude sighed, muttering, _“Here we go…”_

Dimitri continued as if his boyfriend didn’t interrupt him. “-I had an idea for a painting night! I just got a set of Bob Ross DVD’s-“

“It’s so cute, he’s been talking about BR non-stop, haven’t you, Mitya?” Claude reaches to pinch Dimitri’s cheek, only for the blond to lean away. “It’s like you want to dump me and date him!”

Dimitri frowned. “What? Absurd! Not only was he much older than us, but he’s been dead for almost a decade.”

“Oh.. _baby,”_ Claude sweetly said, giving a blushing Dimitri a forehead kiss. “I’m so sorry, we can absolutely have a BR night.”

“Umm,” Byleth interjected, strumming her nails on the table. “We don’t have the budget for oil paints and canvases.”

Dimitri raised his pointer finger emphatically. “I was thinking we could go to the dollar store! We don’t need fancy oil paints! The point is we do our best, and it’s fun!”

Claude patted his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Although…” He began, quirking a corner of his lip up. “You already break nice brushes... I’m sure the dollar store brushes will crumble in your fingertips of steel.”

Dimitri crinkled his nose. “True... Well, I need to practice being gentle.” 

Claude bit his lip. “But I like you rough...”

 _“Claude!”_ Dimitri chastised, pink rising in his cheeks.

El, clearing her throat, reached into her bag and pulled out a purple, sparkly notebook. “Let me check my birthday calendar!”

Claude dragged Dimitri’s chair closer to his own. “The 20th is our Mitya’s birthday!”

“I’d rather not do anything,” Dimitri said, resting his hand on Claude’s back. “Just a nice night in is enough for me.”

Gazing adoringly at his partner, Claude brushed the blond’s hair out of his face. “You always say that, darling. Leave it to me.“

“Well!” El trilled, tapping a date on her calendar. “It’s Bernie’s birthday on the 12th! She _never_ does anything fun. I think we should do something for her!”

Byleth glanced at the clock next to the refrigerator. “I’ll leave it to you three to text about event details, we’ve spent enough time on ideas. Now, vent about what went wrong last month, then give me ideas on how we can make sure those things don’t happen again.”

*******

**El** : **Hello everyone! I was making my monthly calendar of events, and it looks like it’s Bernie’s birthday on the 12th of Ethereal Moon!**

Claude: PARTYYYY! ☠️⚡️🍻

Petra: What is this meaning?

Claude: it means we get fucked 🤘

Petra: We’re having sex?

Claude: well 💁🏾

 **El** : 😑

**El: No Petra, I was *going* to suggest**

**we throw Bernie a birthday party.**

Annie: CAN IT BE A SURPRISE PARTY 🎉 

Mercie: Yeah! That sounds fun!

_Dimitri has been added to the chat by Claude_

Lysithea: CLAUDE! WHY DID YOU PUT DIMITRI IN THE THREAD? He can’t keep a secret for SHIT

Claude: Don’t worry I’ll keep my man in check 😉🤙

Lys: GOOD LUCK

Leonie: LOL ok have fun with that

Dimitri: :-( 

Sylvain: Hell yeah! I’m down 

Sylvain: I’ll even make Fe come

Felix: no

Sylvain: 🙁

Ferdinand: This sounds lovely! What a thoughtful idea.

Mercie: Annie! Lys! We can make the cake!

Lys: It’ll be the best cake ever! Felix will even like it!

_Felix has left the chat_

_Felix has been added to the chat by Sylvain_

Felix: 🗡 

Sylvain: ❤️

**El: Well, sounds like everyone’s**

**in agreement… sort of.**

**El: We only have a few days to plan.**

**El: Mercie, Annie, Lys- make the cupcakes (yum!)** 😋

**El:** **Thea, Igz- decorations** 🎈🎊

Claude: 😱

 **El:** **Caspar, Pet- you distract Bernie**

**on Saturday, get her out of**

**her dorm so we can set up** ☺️

Claude: 😈

**El: Dedue, Ashe- if you could be in charge of food that’d be great! 🍕🌮🥗**

Thea: Sorry just got out of choir practice! 🎤 I would LOVE to do decorations for our Bernie Bear! 😍

Ashe: 👍

**El: Great! Now, remember**

**this is a surprise party so** 🤐

Lys: Dimitri, don’t fuck this up

Dimitri: Hey! I’m perfectly capable of keeping a secret!

Dimitri: And Hubert and Lin get to be in on it, and they don’t even care!

Hubert: It’s true

Hubert: I give zero fucks

**El: Oh hush, Hubert.**

Lin: For the record, I definitely care 

Lin: I just think it’s all a terrible idea

  
  



	2. "It's a Bernie!"

Pushing the double doors, Byleth stepped into the common room and took in the scene. 

Ignatz and Thea are standing to the left surrounded by what looked like party supplies and decorations. Ignatz was setting a box labeled ‘free’ on one of the coffee tables, opening it with trepidation.

Thea shook her head and muttered into her hand. “This is why I have trust issues… Where in the fires of Ailell did Caspar get this crap? The side of the road?”

Ignatz pulled a blue banner from out of the box. “Oh, come on, Thea! Some of this might be salvageable.” 

She slapped her hand down to her side, eyes widened at him. “IT SAYS  _ ‘IT’S A BOY!’ _ IGNATZ!”

Setting the banner aside, he held up a fistfull of streamers, shrugging. 

Leonie walked over, picked up the banner and looked at it appraisingly. “Well, we could just cross out the O & Y, and write ERNIE in permanent marker!” 

Ignatz scratched his chin, inspecting it. “‘It’s a Bernie!’ Well, it’s not  _ wrong! _ ”

Thea rolled her head back and signed, “ _ I give up!  _ I can’t work like this!” 

_ THUMP! _

Byleth snapped her head to look at the right side of the room to find Claude and Sylvain stacking a table on top of two others to create… uhhh…

_“The_ _fuck is this?_ ” Thea hissed, her fists meeting her hips.

“It’s a fort!” Sylvain said excitedly. 

“I know,” she said, sarcasm dripping off her voice. “Question is,  _ why? _ ”

“For the tarot card reading!” The red-head blurted, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Claude snickered, eyeing Sylvain knowingly. 

In that moment, El strolled into the kitchen area, stopping short and letting out an audible sigh. She peered back into the living room glaring toward the two guys as they put a sheet on top of it.

“Uh, what is this? I thought you were supposed to be working in the bar?” She asked, pointing to the kitchen counters.

Claude pointed to a keg. “Done!” 

El sighed, “What about liquor? Mixers? Or even  _ cups? _ ”

Sylvain leaned toward Claude. “ _...Did we get cups? _ ”

“I will get them!” Ferdie declared from the back corner of the room, having just finished putting up some streamers.

As he strode confidently across the room towards the door, El chirped, “And limes!”

Byleth approached the kitchenette in the back of the room. Dedue and Ashe are going the extra mile and making what looked like a feast for at least 50 people. Dedue was busy chopping an assortment of vegetables, including mushrooms, peppers, and zucchini. There were also fragrant herbs and a variety of cheeses. Raw meats were sitting in a cooler, waiting to be cooked. Ashe was kneading dough. His arms flexed impressively as he put his entire body into making sure the dough is the right consistency. 

“What are you guys making?” Byleth asked, sneaking a piece of red pepper to eat.

“Pizza!” Ashe exclaimed excitedly. “We may have gone a bit overboard.”

Claude, startling Byleth as he walked up behind her, shouted, “WE COULD JUST ORDER DELIVERY-” But he silenced himself, noticing the piercing glare from Dedue.

“No, these pizzas are going to be  _ delicious! _ ” Mercie chimed before setting a platter of cupcakes on a table. She gave Ashe a kiss on the cheek, and Dedue leaned down for a kiss of his own. “I love seeing my chefs at work!”

“You're such a lucky bitch, dating  _ two  _ chefs,” Thea said dryly.

Dedue gazed down at Mercie lovingly. “ _ I’m  _ the lucky one.”

“ _ So gross, _ ” Thea said, her face beaming in adoration that contradicted her words. 

Everyone jumped when, out of nowhere,  _ Miss Independent  _ by Kelly Clarkson started playing, and El took her phone out of her pocket. 

“Why doesn’t she leave it on vibrate like a normal person?” Leonie muttered to Ignatz.

He shrugged. “It’s a good song, I don’t mind. Even if it is abrupt.” 

“Hey, Caspar!” El greeted cheerfully. “One sec, I’ll put you on speaker!”

“HEY GUYS!” Caspar’s voice boomed over the speaker. Only he and Raphael can still be so loud on speaker phone, that it’s like they’re in the room with you.

“How are things going?” El asked.

“WELL-” he shouted, and Byleth noticed he sounded a little out of breath. “BERNIE TRIED TO RUN AWAY TO GO BACK TO THE DORMS, BUT DON’T WORRY! WE CAUGHT HER! PETRA CONVINCED HER TO STAY!”

Lin’s head popped up from laying down on a couch. “Does this sound like kidnapping to anyone else?”

*******

Most of the upperclassmen have arrived. Some are finishing set up, others are chatting, a few coming and going as they went to grab gifts or change into their party attire. 

Byleth walked over to El, who tossed her long brown hair over her shoulder.

“How is the checklist going?” Byleth asked, pointing to the clipboard in El’s hands.

Sighing, El tapped the list with the back of her pen. “Things appear to be going surprisingly smoothly.” Looking up at Byleth, she added, “well, now that Ferdie saved the day with stocking up on drink supplies.”

Chuckling, Byleth gestured to the common area, said, “I’m assuming you saw the baby shower decorations.”

El bit her lip. “Well, it’s festive- I’ll give them gold stars for that.” 

Byleth reached out and pinched the hem of El’s red peasant top. “You look cute in this, by the way. Is it new?”

El’s face flushed beet red. “Um, I got it last week… it’s just from the thrift store…”

“Well, it suits you.” Byleth said with a warm, genuine smile. 

El giggled, then took a shaky breath as she looked back at her checklist to see what to do next.

Just then, Claude walked in causing Byleth to look towards the door. He was wearing an obnoxiously yellow Hawaiian shirt with toucans on it, and a neon-pink fanny pack slung across his body.

“HOW are you hot no matter what you wear?!” Thea shrieked as Claude walked over to the drink station where Leonie, Dimitri, and Sylvain were hanging out.

Claude, with a cocky smirk, popped his collar. “Oh,  _ it’s the big dick energy. _ ”

Leonie spat beer back into her cup, gawking at Claude.

Sylvain shouted, “Dima, can you confirm?! Tell me when to stop-” With his palms pressed together, ever so slowly Sylvain moved his hands apart, trying to indicate length. The longer Dimitri was silent, staring disapprovingly at Sylvain, the red-heads eyes widened the father apart his hands became.  _ “REALLY?!”  _ He shouted as he exceeded the width of his shoulders. “High five!” 

Dimitri exhaled with a long-suffering sigh, “I’ll get us some drinks…”

Claude threw up double ‘rock-on’ hand signs, sticking his tongue like he’s a rock star.

Suddenly, the doors burst open and in came Caspar and Petra with a timid Bernie between them, her eyes wide with terror. 

Mercie rushed over to her purple-haired friend and patted her on the shoulder. “It’s okay if you don’t want to come in, but we have a surprise for you.”

At this moment, Ferdie shouted, “SURPRISE!” and yanked a party popper, making Bernie screech and hide behind the nearest couch.

Hubert, who Byleth didn’t even realize was there, snorted in amusement from a corner of the room.

“Hey Bernie,” Claude said, kneeling next to her and placing his hands on her back comfortingly. “We made you a fort over there so you can have your own space but still be part of the group. I can take you there if you’d like.” He gestured across the room to the tables that had been stacked on eachother and covered with a sheet. “Want me to take you over and show it to you?”

Bernie nodded and permitted Claude to guide her. They walked over to the fort, and she stepped through the sheet, settling inside.

Byleth, who was still standing next to El, heard her whisper, “Wow, that is actually… really thoughtful of Claude and Sylvain.”

Sylvain, who heard the comment, came up behind El and murmured sarcastically, “See, we’re not  _ total _ fuckups.” He then winked and strutted toward the common area for a better view.

Lysithea strolled up to the fort with brownies and slipped the plate under the sheet. “This is for you! Happy birthday, Bernie!”

The tiniest “ _ thank you,”  _ came from behind it.

“You’re welcome,” Lysithea responded, then went to set the plate of them back on the table.

Mercie, eyes wide, gawked at the plate Lysithea just put down. “Where did you get those, Lys?”

Lys pointed to a cabinet next to the fridge. “I was looking for something and found them there! They’re clearly fresh, so I didn’t understand why they weren’t out.”

Mercie slapped a hand over mouth and rushed over to the fort. “Bernie! Don’t eat those!”

Bernie popped her head out of the curtain, chocolate smeared on the corners of her mouth, looking terrified at Mercie. “WHY?! ARE THEY POISONED?!”

Shaking her head, Mercie muttered. “They are, um,  _ special  _ brownies. How many did you eat?”

Bernie frowns. “...two…” she said meekly. 

Lin, from the couch in the corner, still laying down as if he had a long day, emitted a low chuckle. 

“Well… this will be interesting.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you got a good chuckle!!!
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated!!
> 
> TY!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments appreciated :-) <3  
> Next chapter will be up soon!
> 
> Tweet tweet:  
> @kayla_brown (kayladb)  
> @HiStacyHere (TheSlayer47)


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